Things people don't tell you

This is a new segment, bourne out of my need to create pithy fun from serious things:

Things people do not tell you:

1. When you are transitioning 
It may take an instant or it may take a lifetime but you will not really fully be happy with your natural hair unless you can look in the mirror and know unequivocally that your hair is pretty.

2. When you are a veteran
You may still be battling your hair even after 10 years if you did not deal with part 1 above.

3. When you are a blogger
You will get very strange emails from very strange people with very strange spelling and very strange requests.


  1. JC, at least you are a scientist and so an authority on something. I started blogging, just so I could have something relevant to Zambia. I had no idea about natural hair and it seemed like a good idea at the time. But, the pressure to have awesome hair, day in day out is immense. You are also not allowed to do anything else with your hair and must defend why you are wearing a wig, etc. The hardest is when people call or email asking what to do with their hair and I don't know what to say. Actually, my trick is to point them to your blog. It tends to work every time

  2. lol Masuka, I love that you point them my way. I clearly need to make sure this remains a good resource!

    Side note - Your blog looks lovely, I will add it to my list and read some more :)

  3. This really made me smile and yes as an old time natural no 1 is so true. I'm just now (after almost 12 years) enjoying my hair to the point where I don't really have "bad" hair days. Before a bad hair day was any day that was more frizz than defined. Now I really embrace the versatility of all the many looks my hair texture achieves. It's very liberating, and the whole hair thing feels so "easy" after that.

  4. Hi JC,

    I really enjoy reading and learning from your blog by the way!

    1. This is 1000% true!! Contrary to what anyone may say about your hair, the only real opinion that matters is your own. I may not always “like” my hair (as in, if it was a person right about now we would be on the “outs”…LOL) but I always LOVE it!!!

    2. Although it’s only been 2.5 years sinc my big chop, I do go through periods (now) of boredom with my hair. Sometimes I feel like chopping it all off and starting over. Anything worth having is going to take some work….

    3. My tiny blog was started basically as a means for me to document my journey. There have definitely been a few strange…ahem, encounters along the way. I canno even imagine the “traffic” your blog must get……I bust out laughing just thinking about it.

  5. #3 made me laugh. It's so very true.

  6. Amen to #1. I may never be happy with my natural hair. It would help a lot if people would stop makig comments on it that imply it is less than pretty. The words "neat-o" and "cool" and not even close to being in the same league as the word pretty.

    #3 I haven't gotten any strange emails yet, but I have gotten some thank you/personal ones that encourage me to keep blogging.

  7. I totally relate to the vlogging/blogging part. i am always amazed at some of the emails i get, sometimes my mind just boggles! lol :)

  8. #1 and #2 are so true...#3 is quite funny. There aren't too many women of color at my job, so I've grown to an unknown popularity with my hair. I get strange emails (from ingredient list of homemade products to magically hair growth pills) from "coworkers" that I've never seen or heard of before. Ironically they all have "As a natural hair expert..." I'm definitely no expert.

  9. I'm coming up on 16 years natural (12 of those as part of the online natural hair community) and I'm STILL learning new things about my hair. Not in a "OMG I'm going back to a perm!" way, though. lol

    Also, like Nicki in the article you linked to, my mental transition happened AFTER I went natural, not before. IMO certain things you just can't know for sure until after you are completely natural so trying to cover all bases prior, so to speak, is silly.

  10. Thank you for all the lovely comments girlies! Katie, lovely to 'see' you.

  11. #1 is the truth. Unless your fundamental definition of what is "good hair" changes, happiness will continue to evade you.


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