tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post5288724038913987071..comments2024-03-19T11:57:07.317+00:00Comments on THE NATURAL HAVEN: Inbox tales: When I started bloggingJchttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-7828478897677047842013-08-14T17:49:32.902+01:002013-08-14T17:49:32.902+01:00We need to talkWe need to talkJchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-69358575980809009632013-08-05T17:58:53.526+01:002013-08-05T17:58:53.526+01:00Im transitioning at the moment and if im going to ...Im transitioning at the moment and if im going to be completely honest, I am slightly anxious about the possibility of having 4c hair. I haven't seen my natural hair since I was 10 so I know nothing about it. Before everyone starts criticizing me, I want to tell you why im anxious. Im nervous because when I was first going through natural hair videos, the only 4c hair videos I would see would be videos like 'Realistic Expectations for 4c hair'. I would hear of all the things you cant do with 4c hair and all these negatives. Also, there weren't many 4c videos out. 4c was the pattern that was never really mentioned. And when it was pictured, it would always be in a short boy cut. Then you would look at the abundant videos of youtubers with looser patterns and the beauty of their hair. All of this made me want to keep far away from 4c as much as possible. I understand the loving yourself and accepting the hair that grows out of your head but you must also understand why someone might be nervousAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-37263503489771920452013-03-07T22:56:32.959+00:002013-03-07T22:56:32.959+00:00I know this post is old ... But anyway i'm gon...I know this post is old ... But anyway i'm gonna comment because it talks to me .I think that people have a serious lack of empathy ... Like if you have 4c hair and you don't love it then you're just stupid. I'm a teenager who never relaxed her hair because of a scalp condition. I grew up hearing my whole family saying "you have Kunta Kinte hair" , "your hair is so nappy" etc...My cousin has looser curls and everybody is always raving about her hair so yeah... I don't like my hair . I know that's what god gave me and I have to accept it, and I'm really trying to like it , to take care of it but a part of me always wish I had 3c curls. So don't be so hard on us girls who have failed to love their nappy hair please.<br />(I don't speak English fluently so excuse me for the bad grammar lol)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-87939716290787268642012-07-24T06:07:45.764+01:002012-07-24T06:07:45.764+01:00Wow. I somewhat agree w/ this post. Ask yourself. ...Wow. I somewhat agree w/ this post. Ask yourself. Why do you blog? I myself thought about blogging to help someone else going through transitioning hair..with "bad hair" i only now know about 4c/z hair. I say bad hair only because i didn't know what to use. My hair is funny. The african lady who braids my hair tells me its so nappy. Lol. I say that to say that i believe even within the 4c community there are different variations. When going natural some of us invision a certain type of end product. Going natural is a fad right now (i think permanent) sometimes when you see other af am celebrating their natural hair, but realize your hair wont do the same tricks as theirs, or look like theirs. I buy kinky hair, wigs, curly fro-type hair..which looks nothing like my hair. I only been natural a few months and i am learning to love my hair...its a process, but its mine. I think the correct respone to the email would be explaining hair is different and managing 4CZ hair takes a strong person, that theyre on right path. Think about it...they could easily slap some dark in lovely on their hair and have no issues. Obviously their frustration is just themselves coming to terms with reality. I would like to add..that although im new, that 4cz hair gets better with time and lenght..i see growing and being easier. JC growing up in africa with others with similiar hair type may be a reason your so confident. I for one was teased for my hair in the states..NYC and hair was very important. Luckily i didnt bring it into my adulthood...or did i(although i wore weaves, perms). Ijs, i agree..i dont want nobody dissing my hair type, but please understand where some of those souls come from. May u all be blessed with good hair daysAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-43701134245534280372012-05-20T01:54:14.768+01:002012-05-20T01:54:14.768+01:00I have been natural for 11 months and have 4c hair...I have been natural for 11 months and have 4c hair (average 6" and growing). The top of my head is another type of hair thin course hair. The only thing I dislike about my hair is this short/long in between stage that it is in. We have our days and our mini wars win some lose some but it is all good. I give my hair what she want and all is well. The thing is 4c hair can seem like the hair from hell when you don't know what to do with it. Learn the nature of a thing in order to overcome it. Pay attention to your hair and she will respond accordingly. Right now I have to do a protein treatment on my hair that is what she is asking for. That is what I will give her. I have a section on my blog that addresses hair. BE aware of all parts of your body not just your hair! If anyone posted an out of order comment we will not fight or argue. I am sharing knowledge and so are other bloggers what people choose to do with it is their problem. For those that dislike and don't understand their 4c hair or natural hair period you got allot of homework to do checkout blogs and youtube! Best wishes!<br /><br />Check out my blog: youknowstrength.blogspot.comArodyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17574416655352072693noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-42243040398254566882012-03-13T19:45:30.534+00:002012-03-13T19:45:30.534+00:00Thanks for the compliment, it made me smile lol.Thanks for the compliment, it made me smile lol.Jchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-7401589310920487342012-03-13T18:55:38.647+00:002012-03-13T18:55:38.647+00:00Firstly I love your blog...your so clever wish I h...Firstly I love your blog...your so clever wish I had found it earlier.<br /><br />Black hair is black hair..I read about hair typing because it helps me understand more about afro hair and the way in which it behaves. Transitioning shouldnt be about curl patterns and all that other junk..it should be about black women embracing who we are naturally, at our most beautiful, about walking tall and proud in our own image. Please don't let this beautiful movement of self awareness be spoiled by another silly divide within our community, love who yourself wholly from the tip of your tightest curl or coil to your toes.Dainty Ms Nelsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03827787735417863654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-57490417973218496162012-03-11T18:00:36.306+00:002012-03-11T18:00:36.306+00:00It's quite ironic that you posted this. I actu...It's quite ironic that you posted this. I actually have the so-called dreaded type 4abc and thought to start blogging exclusively about this because I was sick about reading/about this hair type being unmanageable! http://coilyas123.blogspot.com/CoilyChihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13412274997925668450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-27350521765061634572012-03-07T09:40:08.749+00:002012-03-07T09:40:08.749+00:00I don't understand why people bash/hate 4c hai...I don't understand why people bash/hate 4c hair. If I had to type mine I guess I'm a 4a, but to me, 4c hair is so gorgeous! Twists outs look fab, it just seems so versatile because if I want to do a twist or braid out I have to smooth out my curls to the point of non-existence. Thinking about it unless I do a wash and go, I have to get rid of my curls otherwise the style will look messy. That being said, I love my hair and little curls :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-73257167233094207992012-03-04T17:15:16.437+00:002012-03-04T17:15:16.437+00:00I have 4 something hair. It's thick and I love...I have 4 something hair. It's thick and I love it. However, I can see that all this person is saying is that they feel that encouragement is needed for those people who hate their hair. That if they are ignorant it is because that is what they are exposed to. You can't force them to love their hair you can only provide them with the tools to learn to except it. Sprinkle a little 4c love in and hope they catch on. You can't do anything more than that.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-41930961836429088912012-03-04T17:08:34.932+00:002012-03-04T17:08:34.932+00:00I bet this will be the most enlightening read and ...I bet this will be the most enlightening read and evolve into something wonderful. I say go for it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-9182296762150115332012-03-02T00:01:31.350+00:002012-03-02T00:01:31.350+00:00I have the thickest hair known. Sometimes I think...I have the thickest hair known. Sometimes I think it's 4c then 4a, now I just know it's thick, coarse and coily and tough! I never realised just how tough it is. Many people comment on how my hair never falls out because I continually colour it. Of course that is down to the loving care and attention I always give it as well as the thick texture. Most of my family have different hair types and we compliment each other and never belittle the differences in each of our textures. I love my hair, even knowing it is the coarsest of textures.<br /><br />I am a blogger who doesn't blog very often and am very proud of my very thick and coily hair. Plus I love my tight tight curls! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07594892749113714422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-63584569080140070852012-02-28T16:53:26.172+00:002012-02-28T16:53:26.172+00:00I like my 4c hair it can be sculped molded and BOL...I like my 4c hair it can be sculped molded and BOLD. I blog about fine art not my hair beacuse I relized that most of my audience compose of readers from USA (maybe Canada) and some other countries (that in which may not have the same features). I did not want to exsclude the 4c club so when I draw portraits and figures I always include a 4c touch. All of the women I draw have exstreemly curly 4c like hair and I am proud of that. I do not get any negative comments about this. Art is art.Larahhttp://www.cosmicmedium.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-70995714710857362272012-02-27T20:07:00.203+00:002012-02-27T20:07:00.203+00:00Forgive them, for they know not what they do.... l...Forgive them, for they know not what they do.... lol!<br /><br />Seriously, it's basically ignorance at play here, passed down from their own parents and the community at large. I mean if good hair according to the old school black community is wavy hair, type 4 hair is obviousy 'bad'.<br /><br /> Sadly, that horrible racist (yes, black people can be racist against themselves) thinking prevents them seeing the incredible beauty of their own hair type. <br /><br />I mean, type 4 hair FLOATS for god's sake. It defies GRAVITY!! It literally has a life and personality of it's own. No other hair seems to simply pulsate with energy like this hair type and it's unique on the planet. Less than 10% of the world's population has it. <br /><br /> It's also clearly the hairtype of the first modern humans on the planet, homo sapiens sapiens, so it's incredibly ancient. <br /><br />All in all type 4 hair is a rare, precious and magical thing which should be treasured and celebrated.Kethanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-10853182601507992172012-02-27T01:05:50.175+00:002012-02-27T01:05:50.175+00:00I felt the same way at first when I realized my ha...I felt the same way at first when I realized my hair was a 4c. Then as time went on and I learned to love my hair for what it was and did so much googling and youtube watching to wear I found a way to get out of the afro wearing and into styling. Now I love it! I also love when I get my hair twisted and I get the "I didn't know your hair was that long!" response. lol. I found out patience is the key. As far as negativity. If you're not going to take action to fix a problem, why complain. Red-X! lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-38394743863308641702012-02-27T00:22:26.013+00:002012-02-27T00:22:26.013+00:00Thanks for the lovely comment Sue. I agree with yo...Thanks for the lovely comment Sue. I agree with you that I did not have negative things said about my hair, I grew up in Kenya and people with loose curls tend not be a dime a dozen. However, my generation did embrace African American beauty standards and after the age of 14/15, it was not the norm to see natural hair. I am and still remain the only natural in my circle of friends and family. I still get comments from black women telling me my hair is due (i.e meaning hair is due for a relaxer), I still get comments that I side eye (like my hair is so nappy that the naps have naps or how come my husband does not mind me leaving the house like this or even when am I going to do my hair). <br /><br />The thing is in order to be natural you have to develop selective listening (partial deafness for some people) and a really hard head. <br /><br />I have never walked in Unknown's shoes but her pain is palpable. If it was possible to give hugs online, I really would love to hug her. I am hoping that she will become confident enough to one day read this post and smileJchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-12459680194230530822012-02-27T00:02:28.027+00:002012-02-27T00:02:28.027+00:00Your grammar and pumctuation is fine Laila :) Than...Your grammar and pumctuation is fine Laila :) Thanks for the comment and thanks for giving the commenter Unknown some support and encouragementJchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-38303618449293464962012-02-26T19:42:13.288+00:002012-02-26T19:42:13.288+00:00After reading "Unknown" 's comment, ...After reading "Unknown" 's comment, I see that for some women the issue is psychological and it's deep! @Jc, I think your answer drives the point home...kinda. Maybe "daft" is not the best choice of words? It is "twisted thinking" as you say but I believe that's also because you may not have been subjected to situations or an upbringing where your texture is constantly put down. Mean comments and the conditioning that comes with being told your hair is plain wrong will eventually break down a person's self esteem or confidence. I remember reading on CurlyNikki's blog that alot of women bring up their appearance and especially hair during therapy sessions. That says something. <br /><br />To sum this up, I can only say, we may not understand until we walk the proverbial mile in her shoes. For some of these women, it will take years before they can actually believe differently. <br /><br />--SueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-76950768179167569072012-02-26T19:28:05.343+00:002012-02-26T19:28:05.343+00:00Hey JC and Unknown,
Whilst the fear may be unfoun...Hey JC and Unknown, <br />Whilst the fear may be unfounded, and the reasons behind them flawed, for these women it's real. and it's real sad. Hopefully, Unknown, you'll get to a place where you're hair type won't matter too much. That, for me , came from accepting its limitation and embracing its abilities. and eventually you'll realise that other people have a messed up way of thinking. Give yourself time and you'll come full circle. <br />please excuse my grammar and punctuationLailanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-78608659892090540622012-02-26T19:11:17.118+00:002012-02-26T19:11:17.118+00:00Wow, you have a lot of pain. This post is not mean...Wow, you have a lot of pain. This post is not meant to mock you, it is meant to challenge you to start to think differently. In truth 4c hair is the dominant type of hair for women of African origin. To act like 4c hair is a strange type of unfortunate condition is ridiculous and it stems from adopting an ideal type of hair that actually is not your own.<br /><br />Seriously when you talk about crying when you see someone with 4a hair flipping their hair on youtube, I see only twisted thinking. Your hair is not her hair. There is nothing better about her hair. Why can you not admire the 4cs like Mwedzi, Loolahloo, PrincessDani....etc (look them up on fotki). Youtube is not the world. <br /><br />When you talk about listening to what other people tell you about yourself.....again I see only twisted thinking. The moment when you begin to set your own standards and your own values the faster you will begin to accept yourself and learn that while other people are entitled to their opinions and views, your own opinion especially when it comes to matters about yourself, trumps all others.<br /><br />I do not expect you to come round to accepting yourself immediately or in a flash but I do hope for your sake that you do begin to examine your own words and learn to criticise yourself less and less especially on things that you cannot change.Jchttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03983132094574128087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-10254804755685263092012-02-26T15:34:01.996+00:002012-02-26T15:34:01.996+00:00Send them fearful girls to that Youtube video expl...Send them fearful girls to that Youtube video explaining the journey's of 4C women call The Physical Transformation (Type 4c Hair).Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03167415881595814315noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-64148803657077441272012-02-26T09:14:59.112+00:002012-02-26T09:14:59.112+00:00Yes, I blog. And yes, the brillo pad and 4z commen...Yes, I blog. And yes, the brillo pad and 4z comments get old. <br /><br />One thing I've changed is that I used to blog about any and everything. I still veer off topic sometimes, but I try to keep it mainly about hair.<br /><br />Another thing is in the beginning I tiptoed around my personal thoughts about natural hair and some common practices. Now I speak my piece.nappy headed black girlhttp://nappyheadedblackgirl.com/2012/02/crown-glory-meetup/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-63734455126253108662012-02-26T06:34:15.474+00:002012-02-26T06:34:15.474+00:00...so no one here knows what it feels like to be a......so no one here knows what it feels like to be afraid that everyone they know won't accept them? ok. y'all keep saying that. i will be real.<br />I think you're taking the wrong stance on this. if the community YOU live in is fine with the nappiest grade of hair (and i take from your comment about what ppl say to you JC, that they are not), good for you. if people will tell you daily how ugly your hair is, and you don't care, good for you. but i think it's extremely insensitive (to say the least) to look at other people's pain and say, "what are you, stupid or something?"<br />i know what it feels like to watch another natural flip her 4A hair around on youtube, and cry because i knew my hair would never do that. for people who sit on a high horse, i'd love to see how many of you are FLAUNTING your luscious 4C hair on youtube, or even watching other do it. sigh. but that's not the point. the point is, there is a lot of sadness in it for some women, and to mock them because it's not that way for you is beyond cruel.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00185411792885717777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-41686407099680279352012-02-25T11:41:20.727+00:002012-02-25T11:41:20.727+00:00This a good post and i guess ignorance has a lot t...This a good post and i guess ignorance has a lot to do with it.THe more we educate ourselves the more we can rock our hair with confidence and inspire others.There is nothing like seeing a confident woman who loves who she is warts and all or better i say naps and all lol!Ilovemyhairnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8356365023823603303.post-21425379445928628872012-02-25T06:04:05.276+00:002012-02-25T06:04:05.276+00:00LOL!!!LOL!!!Ericanoreply@blogger.com