Friday, 25 September 2009
Welcome to the debut of my new series. This is just a snapshot into the working of my mind and why I am always smiling. Today I want to discuss creating a world of my own within the real world.
Step 1: The real world in my eyes is not my creation nor my reality.
What does this mean? It means that when I decided to go natural and people said to me that my hair is very African my response was to smile and say, 'Thank you, I am.' The sad part about this statement is that it actually came from fellow Africans but I don't get invested into the workings of their brains but rather I tweak my own and say, 'I am normal.'
Step 2: I welcome those who wish to enter my reality.
I recently attended a friend's wedding and her husband was very fascinated by my hair. He is white and my friend is black. He kept asking why my friend's hair doesn't look like mine. I actually had a two hour conversation with him on the difference between natural hair, chemically straightened hair and weaves. No, he didn't know the difference because frankly nobody ever told him. In the end, he asked his wife why she didn't wear her hair natural, she said 'it is hard to take care of.'
Step 3: I do not let others distort my reality.
On the actual day of the wedding above, I wore my hair in a bantu knot out and I couldn't beat off the compliments. I realise that the reason this is because a bantu knot out makes 'understandable curls.' I had the same type 4 hair for a week and apart from the groom, nobody was openly interested in my hair, curious about it clearly, but not sure what to make of it. Suddenly stretch it out, make some 'normal' looking curls (meaning type 3 curls) et voila compliments galore.
In my reality, natural hair is normal. Black women rocking straight hair are normal too, they just don't wear their hair naturally. In my reality, there is no hierarchy, my type 4 curls make just as much sense as type 3 curls so I rock my shrunken curls 90% of the time. In my reality criticism about my hair is irrevelant as it comes from lack of knowledge or ignorance or stupidity or a combination of the three.
Tell me, what is your authentic reality? I don't want to hear about the 'evil looks' that other people give you , this is the 'real world' . I want to know about the much more important utopia in your mind!